Mind Battle

I have been fighting it all my life It has gotten so bad now, when I wake up my whole body is sore Its like I am fighting in my sleep, the body blows..mental confusion and pressure to be responsible and not fail cause physical pain The tears constantly flow, but only on the inside tho Can't let the girls see mommy crumble No one wants to hear how you fight for your sanity every morning and sometimes..you just want to give in They constantly tell you depression can't win Where is your faith they ask, time and time again Last I checked, my faith had nothing to do with this chemical imbalance An imbalance that most times I cannot manage Or find the time to bandage up these emotional wounds that ooze of shame, guilt, insecurity and comparison So, when I smile or lift you up in anyway, it is just a small way that I am fighting this internal battle When I encourage you, I am encouraging me Hide it..cause they don't care Hide it..cause its too much for them to bear Cover it and just stay strong Yet even in a room full of people you always feel alone This is a battle that everyday I struggle to win Don't take it personal..it is not you friend Don't attack me because your feelings, don't allow you to understand my fight I can't fight you too, although I might I am in a battle for my life, which I am determine to win Just let me sit in my corner, till I am ready to get back in