I called you today because you have been on my mind.
Not just because we haven't spoken in some time, but there was something in my spirit that told me that you needed to speak
This heaviness that has been on me..has dimmed my light
With no one to ignite my light, it is in danger of going out
So, I isolated.
Encased myself with those that love me and constantly pour into me in real time.
I can't support
If they don't even think to support me..
When is the last time my phone rang just to check in..
If I went missing for months..would you notice?
Or would you still send me flyers and invites to your events?
Taking my absence as an offense
I been here since 2007 and invites to things that don't cost money are far an in-between
Having no family here..
Being called family.
But, not being invited to family events..kinda becomes personal
Yall laugh at the tik toks I post on my stories, while trying to piece together if my life is making sense.
But..you..
I watched your page.
I looked for you in the crowd at events.
I searched for you on other people's pages to see if you even made an appearance
When I didn't see you..
I meant to reach out..
I meant to send my daily motivation messages.
But, I was busy making sure my light didn't go out
Not understanding that checking on you put oil in my lamp
Coals on my fire and dried the wood that was damp
Just that..."You must have known, I needed to talk to you..or I missed you, glad I got to hear your voice"
Brings tears to my eyes and waters a garden that I didn't know how to water.
Sometimes, I forget..
That just being me..
Is a ministry..
My story is a light to somebodys path..
My perseverance is the jewel that someone needed to just make it through the day..
Some days, I forget that I am unique
Good, bad or indifferent
You will never meet another me.
Some days, I forget that there is strength when I pray over my friends
On the days where they can't make two ends meet..
I bring laughter that never ends
I called you today because you were on my mind.
Something in my spirit told me that you needed to speak.
Silently wishing, you would also pour life into me.
In reality, it was my soul that needed to be reached...to know
Today.. you are gonna be okay..
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